Update time. :)

So update time for the day. Today was day 3 of the medication. This is the part I hate the most, the crazy phase. I feel like I should be locked up just the way I look, look around me, move, feel crappy yet seem not too bad on the outside, jumpy/jittery, constantly fidgeting and talking. As long as I don't talk to myself, especially muttering, I should be ok. I wasn't as hyper, but still very jittery all day. I didn't crash this time though really. Not fun, but I went for a walk this afternoon and one this evening. That's a step up I left the house and didn't panic. Although I nearly did a few times and I was looking all over the place and my fingers wouldn't stop moving, kind of tapping each other. I think if there had been any kind of crowd I would have panicked. People thought I seemed better but I had to explain that it's only day 3 and that was the side effects, not actually better. I'm on an upper while feeling down and until I stabilize I'm not better. Still can't concentrate, slept longer in one stretch last night too. I'm trying not to make the mistake that I feel like I'm better because I'm talkative and leaving the house and feel like I can do anything, when really I'm nowhere near better yet. I had a conversation today that took away one of my stress points, so that was most helpful. I can try to work on my brain better without having to deal with other stuff and suppositions now. I really don't like the upset stomach side effect. If my stomach is empty, the nausea is worse. However, I can't eat either. It is so hard to choke anything down. I can't even drink a can of Coca Cola (which I don't advise anyways, the caffeine on top of the meds is way too much buzz). I should have tea instead, especially herbal or decaf Earl Grey. Mmm...tea.....So anyways I think that is about it for today. No nasty thoughts, well except thoughts of yelling at people and flipping tables over and punching people. I still don't feel like I can be anywhere or do anything for too long, my brain just won't let me do anything. I can't even read a book. It's rotate between flipping channels, even though I know nothing is on tv, and the computer. No movies, no books, no sitting in one place for too long. Except the computer, but when I've run out of stuff to do that interest me on the internet, off I go. So now I have a few messages to write again. Have a good night all.