Sorry in advance for the circular/all over the place thinking/typing...
The physical update is that the side effects have pretty much worn off but the medication still hasn't kicked in. That is annoying. I hate waking up and feeling hopeless and not knowing what to look forward to, I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel. I spend a lot of time being frustrated: by people that don't understand and by not being able to fix it and not able to function properly. That is why I'm going to see a counselor though, tools to deal with my disorder and figuring stuff like that out. Too bad my brain is so fried I don't remember much from the session. I actually don't remember much of this year honestly. During when Tyler and I were together, yeah can't remember much of that. For the record I don't get drunk, I might have a couple but not enough to forget everything. Details just aren't staying in my brain. The Olympics, I remember more from that but I was also not as bad as I got later in the year. The panic attacks aren't as bad, maybe I'll try and go rent a movie, but I better decide before I go what to watch or I'll never make the decision, and it has to be shorter, nothing over 2 hours for sure. I still haven't seen 500 Days of Summer, and I've rented it twice to try and watch it. I'm an emotional person, I feel a lot and I feel strongly. I still can't focus and I've been typing this for a good 20 minutes now. Completely lost my train of thought, and it was a good one. Ok, right after another 1/2 hour of trying to remember I'm calling it done. If I remember I'll come back to it.
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