So it's 2 days to shooting week, I feel sick (stupid food allergies) and have a greenlight binder to do. The good news is my script is printed. I actually have a hard copy and that feeling is pretty awesome. This week has been learning about directing actors, aka what exactly a director does, and more than just myself are questioning ourselves about if we really can do it. Especially when we're this tired. Every day I expect the fatigue to catch up and I expect to collapse in a heap of unable to move. Every day I plow through. We are nearly half done. My body is screaming "is it over yet?!" and my mind and soul are screaming "Noooo!!! I don't want to be done!" Ha ha, I feel like a masochist. It's the hardest thing I have ever had to do and it will be worth every second of exhaustion, pain (seriously, 10 kg sandbags and more than one being carried at a time, good thing I worked in produce), doubt, fear, tear that hasn't leaked out yet.
We need to remember why we are doing this and who we are doing this for. It's not about us, it's not in our strength alone. Fear is not an option, self doubt is not an option.
On that note I have some greenlight work to finish.
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