20 Seconds of Embarrassing Courage

I deliberately saved this title for last (Nov 15/14 at the moment), even though I've had it saved as a draft for the last 3 months. There is a reason for this, obviously. We watched (during orientation week) "We Bought A Zoo". One of Matt Damon's lines was about how amazing things can happen when you give yourself 20 seconds of embarrassing courage. As soon as heard it I wanted to use it. One of our staff (William) used it to say that that is what it took for us to decide to jump on a plane to Australia to do a very intensive 3 month film school. He was right and amazing things have come from it. I directed 4 films, one sucked, one was ok, and two I am very proud of. I got to DP a few, and I loved it. I met some amazing people who I hope will remain lifelong friends and possible co-workers. Well, some of them will be co-workers for 3 months on internship. The most amazing parts are the breakthroughs, and not even just for me. There were plenty of major ones for me, some of which I've chronicled here. Watching the actors and the rest of the crew grow and have breakthroughs was so great. There are no words that can accurately describe the feeling of being there for that. I can't imagine how the staff felt seeing us all grow after mentoring us for the last few months.

So last night was the premiere. All our first films, alphabetically by last name meant mine was first, were shown. The terror of seeing your film on a big screen waiting to see how the audience is going to react. Ok, that was a bit dramatic, but still it was very nerve wracking. The first films actually went over well. The confessionals were pretty entertaining. Our blooper reel wasn't shown, that's fine. It's mostly for us and our memories anyways. In spite of all the chaos and tears and tired crankiness, we had a blast and we don't hate each other or our staff, ha ha. The two guys left today. One will be back in January for another school and one will come back at some point. I think at some point all of us will be back at the base though.

Back to the films. Restored got laughs, which it was supposed to get. I just wasn't sure if people would laugh. It's good because people enjoyed it and it was my first one. Immortal got a good reaction as well, much of that credit goes to my DP on that one. He made it look amazing. The third one, I Don't Know Yet (yes that was the title as someone asked the title during pitching, that was what I said, and it stuck) got exactly the reaction I was hoping for. People gasped, muttered, cringed. Yep, I even heard a few people say that it was so real and felt so real. Mission accomplished. That was the one I had a concussion during the entire process from mid-script process to final final edit. My DP and AD were integral to the process and without them it would not have happened. All in all a 100% successful trip. For Alannah and Sylvia, along this vein, I fell in love, just not with a guy. Ha ha ha. It was films and Australia. So your wish sort of came true, I'm still not back yet though. Don't know when I'll be for sure back, except Feb until internship #2. Yeah, a second internship on a feature film set. Yay! Details TBA.

So now what. Well I'm having tranferring of funds issues, but I intend to change my flight home and book my flight to leave and come back on Monday here. It will happen, I know it will. Like I knew Brent was a boy the minute my sister told me she was pregnant. Some things in life you just know. Internship starts on the 24th and I will be there because that's where God wants me, even if I'm borderline panicking over the time frame. His time, not mine. His ways, not mine. So time to go relax with the girls for the night. Tomorrow hang out with Tish and find a flight out and back.