I thought I'd give y'all a couple of more recent pictures of me. Sure it's from our huge dump of snow in October, but that's the most recent ones I've got.
So it's a New Year. It doesn't really feel like it. Feels like every day is the same. Well, things are better at work. Now there's 3 of us at the video store, all of whom are competent. That is a huge relief. Now I don't feel like I have to, or actually have to, do everything that the boss doesn't. It's nice because we all communicate with each other as well, phoning if necessary. It's going swimmingly, plus I'm not there 5 or 6 days of the week, only 3 or 4 now. As for the rest of it, well...Yeah, as I said everyday feels like it's just the same. I get up, I work, I eat, I sleep. I don't belong here, I know that full well and everyday it gets more intense (that feeling). I am fine when I'm working, but even that feels like a filler. It's like I'm waiting for something but I don't know what. I get along with everyone, that's not a problem and people know me from both jobs. I know that the only thing keeping me here right now is the fact that with the 2 jobs, I can have my DTS and other things paid off sooner rather than later as I don't have the bills like I had when I lived alone down south. I know I'm gonna go somewhere else and stay gone for a while, Scotland and the Pacific are still calling my name, it's just a matter of when...I have had these thoughts for many months now. The funny thing was when I worked with the others at the video store, I knew that when I left things would be in good hands. I don't dwell on those thoughts, I try to find other uses for my mind. I think reading A Christmas carol by Dickens kind of got me thinking "What have you done lately? Are you wasting your life like Scrooge?" Not exactly like him though, never that bad (I don't think...).
This all relates to being a Christian...So I was watching Eragon this evening. It occurred to me that we are destined for great things, in different ways of course. He was a farm boy and basically woke up one morning to find out that he had a huge call on his life. To be a leader and defeat evil dudes. He thought he was a nobody, but he was to become great. How many of us feel the same way? Inadequate, unremarkable, ordinary, just a nobody. Who are we to become this great world changing person? We know all our faults, yet we know our strengths as well. How often do we focus on our faults and ignore our strengths? We need to recognize those faults and have people around us to help those areas that are problematic, but we need to recognize and use our strengths as well. I know that I, for one, am well aware of my faults. I have to recognize that they need to be changed and then do so, which I kind of suck at. I have a harder time recognizing my strengths. I know some of them, and I need to use them. God has called us all to go and do things for him. As I sit here on my tooshie at home day in and day out I wonder what I could/should be doing for Him? I don't know how to reach the people in this town, partly because I can't really relate to them. Same with the people at church here. I go occasionally, but I don't know how to relate to them. They are in their box and comfortable there (at least from what I've seen). I'm in my box here and I hate it. I hate not doing what I should be, nor being the person I should be. I don't like not having a group of Christians that I can hang out with. Makes me miss my friends in Abby even more. Again, no one to relate to here so all I think about is myself (and God and my friends), not that it's a good thing. We are called in Christ to great things. Even in the smallest ways, if it's for God then it is great. So what is holding us back? Fear? There's a cure for that- Perfect love casts out fear. Circumstances? Those can be changed, sometimes with difficulty, but they can be changed. The only thing holding us back is ourselves. The fear and the doubt that we let rule our minds. If it is gone, then what is stopping us? Nothing. If God is telling us to do something and we don't out of fear or doubt, then who loses? We do. If it is to talk to someone or do something for God and we don't do it, then God will send someone else to get it done. Once the fear and doubt are gone and the circumstances are left, then God can change those himself, as long as we are willing to do what He asks and willing to let Him change things. Ok, this wasn't gonna turn into a preaching session. These are things I am rediscovering. If this helps someone else then great. Gotta go sleep, it's nearly 12:30 am (woo hoo!). Moce vinaka.
http://blog.myspace.com/hilarious29 -If you wanna check it out, I tend to write there more, but I am putting this one there as well.
Yes, this is Jesus walking on water. A friend of mine from another DTS in NZ has it on his myspace page and I copied it, bad me...
I guess I didn't really spend it in a very celebratory way. I lay on the couch and watched a few very horrible movies. Partly because we did most of our celebrating the day before, the presents and the service. Partly because my sister's large dog kinda cracked my nose with her head. It hurt lots and so I didn't feel like moving on Christmas Day. We did have a dinner, which I wore my pj's for (best way to be, in warm fuzzy pj's). Yeah, nothing big happened. I did get an awesome present that I totally wanted, Jabba's sail barge Lego set. Woo hoo! Can't go wrong with Star Wars Lego. Yeah, I think I have a bit of a Peter Pan complex, I just don't wanna grow up. No where near as bad as Michael Jackson though. Haha. On that note, I will sign off and say I hope you all had an awesome Christmas and have an awesome New Year. Hopefully I will get to make a trip south in a couple on months for a visit. Moce vinaka.
Hey one and all. Well, things have gotten interesting here. I am working nearly everyday of the week, ok today I have off and last week (for the first time in a long time) I had 2 days off in a row. Things are crazy at both jobs, the incompetent one at the lab really messed things up after I left on Saturday (I was there for 7 1/2 hours and had to go to my next job for 6 1/2 hours with 1/2 hour in between). So I got a little talking to. Then the incompetent one at the video store didn't show up at all and the store was closed til 2:30 ish (supposed to be open at 10). Didn't phone to say she wasn't gonna make it until the last minute. So she's been sacked now, she wasn't remorseful and didn't see that she did anything wrong. She was sick and at the hospital, which is understandable, but it was how she went about everything else that was wrong (but she doesn't think it was wrong). She knew on Friday the other girl had an appointment at 8 and she left her there alone anyways and never went back, so the one with the appointment called me to go in for a couple of hours to close (I was in the middle of the family Christmas). Then Saturday happenend. Sunday I covered an extra hour so the covering girl (who wasn't even technically working there) wouldn't miss her train. Then she was suppossed to go in and talk to the boss on Monday, she went in Tuesday and still didn't see what she did wrong. So yeah, she's sacked. That's it for here. Hopefully more thoughts later. Moce vinaka.
Lions won the Grey Cup!!! Lions won the Grey Cup!!! Ok, that's all I wanted to say.
Ok, it was only for about an hour, but it felt like it confirmed that I am going to go back to the Islands one day for more missions. Yay!!! There was a Maori dance group from NZ in town, I had missed the evening performance, so I went to the one at my nephew's school. They did songs form NZ, Tahiti, Hawaii, Samoa (huzzah for the slap dance!!) complete with Island drums. I thought I was gonna cry, it was like going home. I told my sis, "I am on the wrong side of the world." She made a reference to me being home sick, and I said Island sick. She said that's what she meant. She understands it, my parents don't. My mom said (when I had told here the same thing about being on the wrong side of the world), "Well you were there for 5 months, so yeah." They looked at each other and I chose to ignore the look. They didn't get it. I don't think they knew what to say either. Anyways, gotta go, they need the computer, but I wanna go home!!! I wanna go back to the Islands!!!!! I now know I will, in God's time.
Ok, nothing to say that really is about anything. Just wanted to put up a new post and I am really tired, so....Where do I go from here? Back to Fiji (where my heart was left)? On to Scotland? I don't belong here anymore, never thought that would happen to me. I was always a good Canadian girl thought I was gonna live here until I died. Now I don't know anymore. I love travelling, but I thought I would stay home. Now Canada doesn't really feel like home, maybe it's just my current location of habitation that feels that way. Lautoka felt like home, like for the first time since I moved out of my childhood home I felt I was home. That was a weird moment. Anyways, gotta sleep...Moce vinaka...
Ok, this is just kind of funny. So the experience advice is as follows...If you are going to use songs or love themes from movies, make sure that they are not from doomed love stories. For example, love theme from Star Wars prequels, Moulin Rouge. You do not want to be unintentionally prophetic about where your relationship is heading. It doesn't matter how much you like the music, just leave them out. Looking back I think my choice of music was trying to tell me something. All the music worked and sounded good, but 99% of the music came from very doomed love stories, even if the love songs were great. I think it was a warning sign that I just didn't pick up on. As were the other warning signs that I just didn't see or didn't want to see. Maybe it's just me, I dunno. Just an amusing thought for me this morning, ok afternoon.
I thought I'd give y'all a couple of more recent pictures of me. Sure it's from our huge dump of snow in October, but that's the most recent ones I've got.
