Hmmmm...

I thought I'd give y'all a couple of more recent pictures of me. Sure it's from our huge dump of snow in October, but that's the most recent ones I've got.

So it's a New Year. It doesn't really feel like it. Feels like every day is the same. Well, things are better at work. Now there's 3 of us at the video store, all of whom are competent. That is a huge relief. Now I don't feel like I have to, or actually have to, do everything that the boss doesn't. It's nice because we all communicate with each other as well, phoning if necessary. It's going swimmingly, plus I'm not there 5 or 6 days of the week, only 3 or 4 now. As for the rest of it, well...Yeah, as I said everyday feels like it's just the same. I get up, I work, I eat, I sleep. I don't belong here, I know that full well and everyday it gets more intense (that feeling). I am fine when I'm working, but even that feels like a filler. It's like I'm waiting for something but I don't know what. I get along with everyone, that's not a problem and people know me from both jobs. I know that the only thing keeping me here right now is the fact that with the 2 jobs, I can have my DTS and other things paid off sooner rather than later as I don't have the bills like I had when I lived alone down south. I know I'm gonna go somewhere else and stay gone for a while, Scotland and the Pacific are still calling my name, it's just a matter of when...I have had these thoughts for many months now. The funny thing was when I worked with the others at the video store, I knew that when I left things would be in good hands. I don't dwell on those thoughts, I try to find other uses for my mind. I think reading A Christmas carol by Dickens kind of got me thinking "What have you done lately? Are you wasting your life like Scrooge?" Not exactly like him though, never that bad (I don't think...).

This all relates to being a Christian...So I was watching Eragon this evening. It occurred to me that we are destined for great things, in different ways of course. He was a farm boy and basically woke up one morning to find out that he had a huge call on his life. To be a leader and defeat evil dudes. He thought he was a nobody, but he was to become great. How many of us feel the same way? Inadequate, unremarkable, ordinary, just a nobody. Who are we to become this great world changing person? We know all our faults, yet we know our strengths as well. How often do we focus on our faults and ignore our strengths? We need to recognize those faults and have people around us to help those areas that are problematic, but we need to recognize and use our strengths as well. I know that I, for one, am well aware of my faults. I have to recognize that they need to be changed and then do so, which I kind of suck at. I have a harder time recognizing my strengths. I know some of them, and I need to use them. God has called us all to go and do things for him. As I sit here on my tooshie at home day in and day out I wonder what I could/should be doing for Him? I don't know how to reach the people in this town, partly because I can't really relate to them. Same with the people at church here. I go occasionally, but I don't know how to relate to them. They are in their box and comfortable there (at least from what I've seen). I'm in my box here and I hate it. I hate not doing what I should be, nor being the person I should be. I don't like not having a group of Christians that I can hang out with. Makes me miss my friends in Abby even more. Again, no one to relate to here so all I think about is myself (and God and my friends), not that it's a good thing. We are called in Christ to great things. Even in the smallest ways, if it's for God then it is great. So what is holding us back? Fear? There's a cure for that- Perfect love casts out fear. Circumstances? Those can be changed, sometimes with difficulty, but they can be changed. The only thing holding us back is ourselves. The fear and the doubt that we let rule our minds. If it is gone, then what is stopping us? Nothing. If God is telling us to do something and we don't out of fear or doubt, then who loses? We do. If it is to talk to someone or do something for God and we don't do it, then God will send someone else to get it done. Once the fear and doubt are gone and the circumstances are left, then God can change those himself, as long as we are willing to do what He asks and willing to let Him change things. Ok, this wasn't gonna turn into a preaching session. These are things I am rediscovering. If this helps someone else then great. Gotta go sleep, it's nearly 12:30 am (woo hoo!). Moce vinaka.

http://blog.myspace.com/hilarious29 -If you wanna check it out, I tend to write there more, but I am putting this one there as well.


Yes, this is Jesus walking on water. A friend of mine from another DTS in NZ has it on his myspace page and I copied it, bad me...