How I spent Christmas...

I guess I didn't really spend it in a very celebratory way. I lay on the couch and watched a few very horrible movies. Partly because we did most of our celebrating the day before, the presents and the service. Partly because my sister's large dog kinda cracked my nose with her head. It hurt lots and so I didn't feel like moving on Christmas Day. We did have a dinner, which I wore my pj's for (best way to be, in warm fuzzy pj's). Yeah, nothing big happened. I did get an awesome present that I totally wanted, Jabba's sail barge Lego set. Woo hoo! Can't go wrong with Star Wars Lego. Yeah, I think I have a bit of a Peter Pan complex, I just don't wanna grow up. No where near as bad as Michael Jackson though. Haha. On that note, I will sign off and say I hope you all had an awesome Christmas and have an awesome New Year. Hopefully I will get to make a trip south in a couple on months for a visit. Moce vinaka.

Wow, been so long...

Hey one and all. Well, things have gotten interesting here. I am working nearly everyday of the week, ok today I have off and last week (for the first time in a long time) I had 2 days off in a row. Things are crazy at both jobs, the incompetent one at the lab really messed things up after I left on Saturday (I was there for 7 1/2 hours and had to go to my next job for 6 1/2 hours with 1/2 hour in between). So I got a little talking to. Then the incompetent one at the video store didn't show up at all and the store was closed til 2:30 ish (supposed to be open at 10). Didn't phone to say she wasn't gonna make it until the last minute. So she's been sacked now, she wasn't remorseful and didn't see that she did anything wrong. She was sick and at the hospital, which is understandable, but it was how she went about everything else that was wrong (but she doesn't think it was wrong). She knew on Friday the other girl had an appointment at 8 and she left her there alone anyways and never went back, so the one with the appointment called me to go in for a couple of hours to close (I was in the middle of the family Christmas). Then Saturday happenend. Sunday I covered an extra hour so the covering girl (who wasn't even technically working there) wouldn't miss her train. Then she was suppossed to go in and talk to the boss on Monday, she went in Tuesday and still didn't see what she did wrong. So yeah, she's sacked. That's it for here. Hopefully more thoughts later. Moce vinaka.

Aieeeee!!!!

Lions won the Grey Cup!!! Lions won the Grey Cup!!! Ok, that's all I wanted to say.

Back to the Islands...

Ok, it was only for about an hour, but it felt like it confirmed that I am going to go back to the Islands one day for more missions. Yay!!! There was a Maori dance group from NZ in town, I had missed the evening performance, so I went to the one at my nephew's school. They did songs form NZ, Tahiti, Hawaii, Samoa (huzzah for the slap dance!!) complete with Island drums. I thought I was gonna cry, it was like going home. I told my sis, "I am on the wrong side of the world." She made a reference to me being home sick, and I said Island sick. She said that's what she meant. She understands it, my parents don't. My mom said (when I had told here the same thing about being on the wrong side of the world), "Well you were there for 5 months, so yeah." They looked at each other and I chose to ignore the look. They didn't get it. I don't think they knew what to say either. Anyways, gotta go, they need the computer, but I wanna go home!!! I wanna go back to the Islands!!!!! I now know I will, in God's time.

Oh whither dee dither...

Ok, nothing to say that really is about anything. Just wanted to put up a new post and I am really tired, so....Where do I go from here? Back to Fiji (where my heart was left)? On to Scotland? I don't belong here anymore, never thought that would happen to me. I was always a good Canadian girl thought I was gonna live here until I died. Now I don't know anymore. I love travelling, but I thought I would stay home. Now Canada doesn't really feel like home, maybe it's just my current location of habitation that feels that way. Lautoka felt like home, like for the first time since I moved out of my childhood home I felt I was home. That was a weird moment. Anyways, gotta sleep...Moce vinaka...

Amusing for me experience thoughts/advice...

Ok, this is just kind of funny. So the experience advice is as follows...If you are going to use songs or love themes from movies, make sure that they are not from doomed love stories. For example, love theme from Star Wars prequels, Moulin Rouge. You do not want to be unintentionally prophetic about where your relationship is heading. It doesn't matter how much you like the music, just leave them out. Looking back I think my choice of music was trying to tell me something. All the music worked and sounded good, but 99% of the music came from very doomed love stories, even if the love songs were great. I think it was a warning sign that I just didn't pick up on. As were the other warning signs that I just didn't see or didn't want to see. Maybe it's just me, I dunno. Just an amusing thought for me this morning, ok afternoon.

My dream the other night...copied again from myspace blog

I had this dream the other night and it started out involving the last things discussed before I went to sleep...

So I don't know where we (can't remember most people in it either) were, but I think it was a church or some such thing. Anyways there was this thing involving a cloud shaped like a space ship and people believed it really was a cloud. However, it wasn't a cloud, because I saw the engines, so it was the other way around. (This is all relevant, really) I was trying to tell people it wasn't real and that none of what they believed was real, but no one would listen. It was kind of like a religion that was being made to look like Christianity. I was telling people that they were being decieved and that it was all wrong, deception and lies. No one would listen. Then someone started talking to me. They grabbed me and it was so quick and subtle, I didn't really notice anything. The only thing I noticed was that for a brief moment the person I was talking to got real hideous and black before he looked normal again. I knew something was wrong with me after that, but I didn't know how it happened. The way it was explained in my dream was that I was caught unaware as I was doing things for God. I was focused on that so I didn't notice when or how it happened and I had a heart transplant. The heart that had been put in was filled with memories of realtionships that I had never had and weren't my own and very lust driven, it was like I was oggling every guy I saw. So I was saying "God, when and how did this happen? This isn't me, these thoughts and false memories aren't me. I can't fight these inclinations and thoughts, I don't know how. Can't you make it stop?"He said, "There is nothing I can do to stop it. It is the heart that has been transplanted into you. It can't come out. You can fight it, it is possible to overcome it, but you have to consciously fight it every moment of every day." Then I said again "How am I supposed to fight this? It is overpowering. How do I fight it?"

And that is when I woke up. Just as the answer was going to be said. It was interesting because the evil got in right when I was surrounded by God and doing things for God (in the dream). It was like I was so distracted that I didn't see it coming and I wondered how it was possible that it could have happened. No, I do not have the lust problem mentioned above, but it got me thinking how quick the devil gets in and you don't even notice it. Then you wonder how it happened. That just really stuck with me for the last few days. I know how to fight those little battles, but I've not really had to fight a big one daily.

That's it for me for now. Moce vinaka.