I had this dream the other night and it started out involving the last things discussed before I went to sleep...
So I don't know where we (can't remember most people in it either) were, but I think it was a church or some such thing. Anyways there was this thing involving a cloud shaped like a space ship and people believed it really was a cloud. However, it wasn't a cloud, because I saw the engines, so it was the other way around. (This is all relevant, really) I was trying to tell people it wasn't real and that none of what they believed was real, but no one would listen. It was kind of like a religion that was being made to look like Christianity. I was telling people that they were being decieved and that it was all wrong, deception and lies. No one would listen. Then someone started talking to me. They grabbed me and it was so quick and subtle, I didn't really notice anything. The only thing I noticed was that for a brief moment the person I was talking to got real hideous and black before he looked normal again. I knew something was wrong with me after that, but I didn't know how it happened. The way it was explained in my dream was that I was caught unaware as I was doing things for God. I was focused on that so I didn't notice when or how it happened and I had a heart transplant. The heart that had been put in was filled with memories of realtionships that I had never had and weren't my own and very lust driven, it was like I was oggling every guy I saw. So I was saying "God, when and how did this happen? This isn't me, these thoughts and false memories aren't me. I can't fight these inclinations and thoughts, I don't know how. Can't you make it stop?"He said, "There is nothing I can do to stop it. It is the heart that has been transplanted into you. It can't come out. You can fight it, it is possible to overcome it, but you have to consciously fight it every moment of every day." Then I said again "How am I supposed to fight this? It is overpowering. How do I fight it?"
And that is when I woke up. Just as the answer was going to be said. It was interesting because the evil got in right when I was surrounded by God and doing things for God (in the dream). It was like I was so distracted that I didn't see it coming and I wondered how it was possible that it could have happened. No, I do not have the lust problem mentioned above, but it got me thinking how quick the devil gets in and you don't even notice it. Then you wonder how it happened. That just really stuck with me for the last few days. I know how to fight those little battles, but I've not really had to fight a big one daily.
That's it for me for now. Moce vinaka.
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