O Captain, My Captain

There has been a lot going on with school prep, work, and life in general.

As you all obviously know I've had a hard 20 year battle with depression. So it's only fitting to start with a major comedic icon's death. We all have heard about it, we all have been shocked and processing it. Again the endless questions of why he did it, which turn introspective (as an introvert it is unescapable) and you ask yourself "Will that ever be me? When may I reach that point?" It may never be me, but having fought it personally the question always pops up with the sadness of another one losing their fight. The hardest part is not becoming desensitized to it and thinking "There goes another one, how sad." while remaining numb and blind to the actual problem. Not everyone understands mental illnesses, that's fine. The key to remember is to learn about it to help others deal with it even if you don't understand or agree that it really exists the way it does. It is real the way it exists for people so before saying anything remember to think before you speak. Ask yourself if the "advice" is going to help or hinder. Everyone is different and the common "helpful" advice may not be as helpful as you intend it to be. Rest easy, Robin. Your fight is over.

Ah school. I finished my last shift at work before I leave last night. I even cleaned out my locker. It still hasn't really sunk in that I fly out the day after tomorrow. I'm making only a bit of progress through the list of films, but it's working out rather well. I borrowed a bunch of them, but I'm picking the ones I want to see most. The hardest part is wanting to jump in and do a lot of rescue stuff, which I can't do. So here I sit on a fabulous day contemplating films, life, the universe, and everything.

I guess I had better get back at it. Packing etc still to do.