Call of the Wild Geckos

This was supposed to be posted a few days ago. Technical difficulties.

One of my favourite sounds is geckos. I don't know why, I just love their chatter. I always look when they talk in the general direction of their tickng.

It's been lovely during the day, at night it's been cold. It works, I'm buried in my borrowed bedding.

This week was writing. It was so hard. Writing under pressure when you're out of practice is frustrating. It was script writing, story development, character development etc. Yep, hard. I think I'm learning and retaining. I've taken heaps of notes to go back to if I need to.

The interesting thing is that I think I've been really bored with the world and the more bored I get the more the depression and anxiety acts up aka the world doesn't feel worth living in. I figured this out either yesterday or today. The challenge of the course I thought would make me go crazy and I'd freak out and have a breakdown. The first week came close, but I think that was lingering jet lag and my body cycling out of the previous down phase. Instead I've been stressed over the workload, yet happy as a clam this last week. I love it. Now if I can fix the mistakes in the script and keep improving then yay.

My classmates are amazing and the staff is as well, lol. They keep telling us we will think they're evil and that they hate us. So far nope. I just have been seeing it as helping us to improve our skills. I'm in Australia at film school. I refuse to let it get to me. I am in the middle of an amazing opportunity and I'm going to enjoy all of it. The good, the bad, and the difficult. I may get frustrated, but that's what fuzz therapy (cats) and walks are for. I wish I'd brought my exercize clothes though.

I found a boxed cereal that I wish I could import. Not very sugary and tastes pretty good. It's my snack food to try to reign in the bad snacking. Good thing I'm broke, ha ha.

Tish came by for a study break bearing a value pack of Tim Tams and frozen Coke. Yay! It was much appreciated. Speaking of studying, I have 3 stories to finish, an editing tutorial, and my second draft to finish so I had better get back at it.

Whom Do You Serve?

It's been a crazy week so far. We get to watch 2 movies a week that are deep, sometimes intense. Tonights was a rough one (Dogville). For most of my friends I don't recommend it.

Other than the technical teaching (story basics, pitching a film idea) we were taught on worldview. It was very interesting. I don't know about the others (due to the age gap), but it was more clarifying and putting labels on things I have seen over the years. It made me aware of how the very common post modern worldview has started to infiltrate my thinking as my sphere of contact and social websites have grown and influenced me. I have never really liked the term influenced because it is powerful yet feels like it is subtle and not a conscious choice. That, however, is another topic I started in a notebook back home. I'd have to dig it out before I expound on it. Got off topic, sorry. It just reiterates how I need to keep the foundation of my worldview that is not as wrong as people want others to think it is.

The workload has begun to be heavy, and it is only going to get worse. My infection is slowly going away, but I got some vitamin C/zinc/garlic pills to give it the extra kick. I swear it isn't contageous, but I've been trying to be careful anyways.

The cat up the street comes to see me every time I walk past and it's outside. Today I thought it wasn't going to let me leave, then a man came up the street and it ran back to its chair. I also got caught in a rain storm, which did involve thunder and lightening. It was a bit close to me. After I got back there was a rainbow at sunset. The best part was how the angle was different than I'm used to. It went higher up like a huge circle vs the lower angle ones I'm used to from home.

Anyhoo, I have a tonne of reading to finish by tomorrow. It turns out the reading is the hardest most frustrating part for me, for no reason other than the volume of it in the time frame neccessary. Pray I don't lose my mind over the course of the next few months.

A Little Fall of Rain

The week started off beautiful and sunny. Alas, the weather changed two days ago. It is now rainy and cold and even the Canadians are whining. In all fairness we did come from 30°C summer.

Homework is on the list for this weekend and is a slow progress. At least now I believe I have all films for the 5 essays picked out. It has been proven that being in front of a camera is still not my thing. Oh well, it should be funny to watch. :D We have been told our lectures will be the equivalent of 2 years of university lectures. Eek! It is apparently also one of the hardest most intensive YWAM schools. In the end it will be worth it and I will have tea for blood. Currently the biggest hurdle is going to be lack of a laptop. Simply due to the fact that I have to be in the office to type stuff up and I tend to get distracted by comings and goings etc. I guess that is what an ipod and headphones is for. I'm excited for the films we are going to watch for school. It sounds lile some good ones for sure.

I guess it is time to attempt essays/notes for said essays again. Until next time...

You Shall Not Pass...

I keep losing my posts. This is the third one and I'm over it. Ha ha. So finally got Wi-Fi today. Everyone is pretty awesome so far. My camera avoidance techniques have been hit and miss. Good times.

I've run through the gauntlet of emotions. Exhaustion, giddiness, terror, etc. It's pretty interesting. My jet lag isn't too bad anymore, but it still has moments of insanity that are completely different from my normal ones.

Oh, we drove past McDonald's and they have frozen Coke. It's exactly what it says and it is so good. No Slurpees, but this is better.

I thought I wasn't going to get into Australia. 7 hours sleep over 48 hours means jittery body language and inability to think and focus. That meant officer noticed and had me pulled aside because things didn't make sense. In the end it got sorted and I got in the country. My original story typed up was way better and more detailed. :D Basically I had no idea what I did wrong until he asked about the YWAM as I hadn't mentioned it yet. In all fairness he asked about my Brissie friends so I talked about them and it got messed up and didn't make sense. Ha ha.

So anyways, so far not a lot of sightseeing (obviously) but that will come later. Feels like nap time so more later.

Just Pointing Out...

That I really suck at packing. Ha ha. I overthink then overpack then overthink somemore then get frustrated then type poorly. Tomorrow is the big travel day, which I am currently too tired to be excited about. Also Wobbs is guarding my chocolate stash. So see you when I get to Australia. :D

O Captain, My Captain

There has been a lot going on with school prep, work, and life in general.

As you all obviously know I've had a hard 20 year battle with depression. So it's only fitting to start with a major comedic icon's death. We all have heard about it, we all have been shocked and processing it. Again the endless questions of why he did it, which turn introspective (as an introvert it is unescapable) and you ask yourself "Will that ever be me? When may I reach that point?" It may never be me, but having fought it personally the question always pops up with the sadness of another one losing their fight. The hardest part is not becoming desensitized to it and thinking "There goes another one, how sad." while remaining numb and blind to the actual problem. Not everyone understands mental illnesses, that's fine. The key to remember is to learn about it to help others deal with it even if you don't understand or agree that it really exists the way it does. It is real the way it exists for people so before saying anything remember to think before you speak. Ask yourself if the "advice" is going to help or hinder. Everyone is different and the common "helpful" advice may not be as helpful as you intend it to be. Rest easy, Robin. Your fight is over.

Ah school. I finished my last shift at work before I leave last night. I even cleaned out my locker. It still hasn't really sunk in that I fly out the day after tomorrow. I'm making only a bit of progress through the list of films, but it's working out rather well. I borrowed a bunch of them, but I'm picking the ones I want to see most. The hardest part is wanting to jump in and do a lot of rescue stuff, which I can't do. So here I sit on a fabulous day contemplating films, life, the universe, and everything.

I guess I had better get back at it. Packing etc still to do.