Is this the right colour? I think so. Anyways, movies. I just lost my train of thought on that one. Ok, in general I have lost my train of thought.
Ok, trying again. The problem with being a wanderer is being grounded. No car, can't really go anywhere, not even for a day. I have to move, I have to go. One can only walk around a small town so many times before it becomes too familiar. Then I get bored, then my mind gets bored and starts wander and invent non-existent things and drama where there isn't anything. One of the guys on the ship said I was a wanderer, I was always looking around the room to see who I was going to talk to next or where I was going to go next (for the record I am already planning next year's vacation...and the year after that, etc). I was constantly being told I knew everyone on the ship, and I spent a huge amount of time wandering around said ship and just talking to whoever I could find. I think part of me is looking for that place that feels like home. I'm not there yet, but even if I was there, I'd have to move around and go explore. I'd just fade away if I couldn't.
One other thing I do want to know...why is it that the issue ridden people seem to find me? This is not dramatic, it's fact. Why do they seem to be drawn to me like a moth to a flame? I could name names, but I won't. That wouldn't be fair to them. I mean huge issues, not the tame whatever ones, but real issues that I am not allowed to mention due to confidentiality promises. It's not like there's just one person doing that either. I think I'm still trying to figure myself out. Aren't we supposed to have done that by the time we're 30? Or am I behind by 6 years due to a certain life event/person? Or have I forgotten some that has remained the same, while other things I have found out as I have gone along? I'm still trying to figure out why relative strangers tell me their issues/problems. Am I really that easy to confide in? Hmmm...not something I've thought of really. I was told that I have this intrinsic ability to bring people together. It's something I do without trying. It just happens. So I flit in like a butterfly, bring people together and leave again to find new people to bring together. That's what it feels like at least.
Sometimes I feel like the Doctor, sometimes I relate to the companion more. As for feeling like the Doctor, I wander alone, always find people pretend to be normal for once because it feels good, but always moving on because it's what I do. I haven't been other than that since I lived in Gibsons. That all changed when I moved, never really fitting in, showing up to some stuff meet people interact like friends, leave. Never really getting close to anyone, well except my Abby friends...but then I moved. Still close to them, but so far away. If you watch New Who, see what I mean?
Ok, tired now. I think now that my mind is empty I can finally get to sleep. Maybe I'll regret being so open in a public place...and maybe not. I'll sleep on it and then edit the settings if I feel the need. Sometimes getting it written down somewhere is more helpful than not.
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