Seasons May Change

I know it's been a few weeks. The internship ended without the final film being as edited as it should have been. That's frustrating. We played laser tag and I finally got to participate in that. I never got a beach day. Yes, I was gutted that I didn't. I went to study and work, not to have fun and be a tourist in Oz. I accomplished that.

The last week before I left Oz I was trying to put on a happy front, inside I was sad and full of dread to return to the ordinary. The thing about doing something extraordinary is that you become ruined for the ordinary or the extraordinary becomes your new level of ordinary.

So I'm back in Canada, my body refuses to adjust to the time zone, and I have a cold. Whee. Makes for an unfun first week back. However I have seen a few friends, family, and my cats. That helps. I do miss the crew and the work back in Oz. I know I'm going back so that helps. Seasons change, when I go back it will be different than the internship as the internship was from the SDF. Different dynamics. It will be challenging and fun. I can't wait.

So my next steps are work (which I need to leave for shortly), sort out my things, and raise support for going back. So much to do, so little time.

Like I said, I must go to work. Pray I don't injure myself.

These Little Wonders Still Remain

So this morning I was thinking about how people joke about small thing amusing small minds (or simple things amusing simple minds) and it made me a bit annoyed. I simply do not find that to always be true. So my title is a song lyric from a song written for a film. The back story behind it is great. Short story, Rob Thomas wrote it for his dog Tyler (RIP, Tyler). The whole story though is more interesting. When I was at his show in 2009 in Vancouver he told us how it came about. It was pouring rain (in NY City) and he had to take Tyler for a walk. He was hating every minute of it and there was a lot of life things he was dealing with. Tyler, as dogs do, thought it was the best thing ever and was just so excited to be out for a walk with his owner just being. Tyler was so excited by the small things and Rob realized that Tyler had it right and he didn't. So when he got back he wrote the song.

Life sometimes hands you crappy things. It happens. Stress from work, relationships, etc can make you like Rob in that moment. It happens to all of us.

So where is this going? Bear with me as I re-concussed myself a bit.

I have gone through a lot of shit. I have clinical depression, anxiety, now post concussion. I have nearly drowned (at 2 years old), been molested, had bad relationships with controlling or manipulative men, seen a classmate's dead body briefly hanging from a swing set, been physically and emotionally bullied. There have been many moments where I should be dead (I counted 10 at least that for the grace of God I survived). With all these things (and more that I may have forgotten) you would think I would hate the world and everyone in it. I don't.

So here it is. I am easily amused by little things. The little fish that eat dead skin, lizards that are catchable, cats, baby animals, stupid jokes, watching good friends interact, fangirling about actors or shows that I love. I am so unapologetic about it as well. Do I come across like an airhead or a child? Yes, absolutely. You know what though? Some people could use a dose of being like that themselves. Letting go of their jaded cynicism, their past hurts. Some people need to open their eyes and see the world and appreciate those little wonders. I'm not an idiot, I'm not simple or stupid. I'm just appreciating the little things God has given us to appreciate. This week I challenge everyone to keep a list of the little things that they appreciate or enjoyed. Just one week really look for the little wonders in life. Take a picture or write it down. I'm going to hastag littlewonders for at least a week. Join me, you know you want to.

For a Dreamer Night's the Only Time of Day

It has been so long. There has been much filming and stressful preproduction. Our second short films have been shot. I spent the day completely knackered. It was all obviously worth it though.

I fly home in less than two weeks. I'm so torn on it. I want to see my family and friends, yet I don't want to leave here at all. I finally feel like I'm where I'm supposed to be and now I have to leave. I know I'm coming back in a couple of months, and it will go so fast, but I just don't want to leave. I will miss everyone here, some of whom will be here when I get back. I want them to come to the airport, but I don't. It's a good thing one of the girls and I are on the same flight to LA. That will make it easier. The hard part will be in LA leaving her when my body is saying it's time to sleep. Stages of goodbyes and travel. Hmmm. Good thing we will have chick flicks for the plane and tears as a result. Ha ha.

God is teaching me faith, perseverance, trust, patience, holding onto His promises and my dreams. Giving those dreams to Him. Good stuff really. I feel like I might actually finally know who I am in Him and can now walk that in confidence. Also I'm a freaking filmmaker! Finally! Ha ha ha haaaa!

On that note my bed is actually calling me again so I must listen so I can work tomorrow.